SAY ‘NO’ – The Way to Establish Boundaries

Let’s get something straightened out. For those of you who aren’t liberal enough, you’re not going to get it. Some of you may think you get it; you want to get it. You claim that you could relate to others with what you’ve personally been through, but you could never understand what it means to live someone else’s life. To be a has-been, you need to actually “have been”.

Telling someone off with the two-letter word can be a powerful statement in and of itself. You’re setting a boundary between them and you; a mark of how far you’d go for them. Of course it is only natural that anyone being told off “no” would like to hear a reason for it. There is that suggest of genuinely wanting to know. For the most part, you’re almost tempted to give them your excuses. You hope that they could be persuaded to see things through your eyes, too.

I’m going to break it to you: they don’t need it. You don’t have to do the persuasion bit. All that’s left after saying a firm, comprehensible “no” is to proceed with your own programme. As for the other person; so long as you’ve fulfilled your end of your responsibilities, then they just have to respect that decision. It’s entirely up to them as to how they’d want to make peace with it.

Giving a succinct “no” for an answer; without any further justifications can bring about an important change in how others see you. You’re giving off the impression that you are not one to be taken lightly, or to be taken advantage of. Your generosity is not to be mistaken for subservience.

Here are some things I wished I had known for the longest time; growing up. Knowing when to say no at the appropriate time can be tricky, but it’s not so mind-boggling as you might think.

“People think focus means saying yes to the things you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”

Steve Jobs
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