What To Do When Family Hates You, A Black Sheep’s Memoir

Growing up is hardly ever a smooth sailing transition. Before you get to open waters, you’ve got to watch out for the riptides. Interestingly, for better or for worse, we’re not alone. That’s where family comes in. They’ve got your back. They are all you’ve ever known. They assure you that you can always feel safe with them.

But that’s not always the case now, is it? We live in a reality where life is never a one-size-fits-all scenario.

Going back to the topic of growing up, it is a journey that calls for tough decision making. There are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ choices. All that exists are the ones you make, and that calls for you to be wholly responsible for them. It is only natural that not everyone can agree with your wants and needs. It goes without saying that they just don’t see themselves in them.

In such cases, the right thing is hardly ever the best thing. This is the part of growing up where your perceptions of the people you once grew up with changes. You will begin to mould your own definition of the concept of family. And that’s okay. Change is the only thing that is constant, and family dynamics aren’t an exception to that.

Here are some things you could do when you feel hated by your loved ones. Let’s give you an idea on how to work through negative sentiments healthily.

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What It Means To Be There For Someone

Love isn’t about grand gestures. It is about keeping up with the momentum; to be consistent when it comes to caring for and thinking of others. Be present with the people in your relationships at every step of the way. That means you’ve got to be willing to be there for them day or night; rain or shine. That’s all loving someone really is. It’s about the time and efforts your spend being with them and growing to love more about them.

To love someone wouldn’t always be an easy thing to do, either. It’s not a walk in the park, at least not in the literal sense. There will be times you’ll take notice of the subtleties of the smiles they fake, the tears behind their every laughter, the hurting they feel, and the hurting you will feel because of it all.

You can’t expect a person to always keep your best interests in mind, especially in their rare moments of extreme distress. After all, many of us find it difficult to maintain a collected, level-headed composure when under intense pressure, too. The thing about that pain is that it becomes your reality. It overwhelms you. Your regard for others will be greatly repressed. And in that moment, you’re not living as your best self. The only thing that’s preoccupying your mind amid the confusion and chaos will be survival.

There has got to be an understanding when one (or both) of you are ‘drowning’, but for there to be that understanding, there must be some form of communication going on. Being there for others is one of those ways.

They’ll be glad to have someone rooting for them. And you’ll be glad, too, knowing that of all people who are willing to make a difference for that person is none other than you. Do it with absolutely no expectation, and most definitely without a reason.

Your presence will speak volumes. It helps others in ways you’ll never know. Although it doesn’t guarantee that you’ll have a crowd of supporters of your very own during your hardships, it does come to show that you are very much capable to be supporting of yourself in every decision you make. It’s not about “who” you help, it’s about “how” you help them. And what better way is there?

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