Stop Fetishising Your Own Sadness- instead never give in

People make excellent defeatists. Self-doubt, incessant worrying, and having insecurities are not novel to us. The reality is such that for many people, those are their first reactions when it comes to facing problems. We anticipate failure.

Things only get beyond the point of healthy when our expectancy of failure or rejection influences our decision-making. Because we all want to play it safe, now don’t we?

To confine oneself within their comfort zone is no way to keep safe. It prevents a person from progressing in life through developmental learning and getting more exposures. The very components of growth.

It is only through our personal growth do we become more adept at increasing our chances for survival.

Many people wallow in self-pity and defeat without having any kind of intention to move pass beyond it. Admitting to hopelessness is easier for them than it is to putting in the effort to overcome the problem. It is not that they are finding comfort in what they can’t do; it is about them finding comfort in what they aren’t willing to do.

They’d rather end up feeling all sad, complaining with despair than to take initiative.

This behaviour has to stop. It’s not healthy in the long-run. The best way to putting a stop to this problem lies in our perspectives. A readjustment of our perceptions is often the most effective solution to most barriers that are psychology-related.

“Happy is the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind and has given up worrying once and for all.”

Ovid, Roman poet. Born 43 BC, died 17-18 AD.
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Dealing in Absolutes, how reality is denied

We all have our fears, insecurities, and doubts, don’t we? In fact, from very young ages, we were taught to trust and distrust the things in our surrounding environment. A very Sisyphean way of thinking. We innately fear what we don’t quite understand. Until we can put those worries to bed, all we could do is try to make ourselves feel comfortable.

To save ourselves the trouble of complicating our thoughts, we turn a blind eye towards perspectives that we are less inclined to believe in or to believe will happen. This sort of black-and-white thinking (or all-or-nothing thinking) is a defence mechanism.

Dealing in absolutes is essentially when we take an answer, solidify our stance on it, and ignore all other possibilities. It is an extreme that implores us to think that something or someone is entirely good or entirely bad; whether it is to be trusted or not. We become reluctant to find a middle ground.

The psychiatric term for this phenomenon is called splitting.

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