Nobody is perfect and you are not an exception to that rule. We are ridden with flaws, mistakes, guilt, grief, regrets, and insecurities. Heck, the problem could also lie in our dissatisfaction with our own appearances or the way we choose to identify. It’s the parts of us that makes us human. Imperfections are deemed unforgivable, and acceptance goes a long way.
In our minds there exists this image of the ideal person that we all aspire to become. If one could have things their way, they’d want to be that person now. Yet, personal growth is a process. You can’t rush it. Nobody becomes their best selves overnight.
It is something that you’re going to hate to put into practice on a daily basis in order to fit into that expectation. We’ll only get better at it as we grow.
What most people fail to keep in mind, however, is that you can’t always be that person. There are days we get into a slipping up streak and we lose a hold of ourselves. Many of us give into the pressure regardless.
By dwelling on our mistakes, we hinder ourselves from learning effectively from them. Lessons often come from the gravity of the fault itself, and that is to never repeat it again. Denial essentially prevents us from learning a second, more profound lesson: letting go and moving on.
It is easier said than done. It takes a lot of self-actualisation and maturity to putting aside our flaws and that of others to savour the silver linings. Those who get the short end of the stick often spiral into self-hatred.
To forgive others over a mistake is relatively easier. Once they’re out of sight, and their problems with them, they are instinctively out of mind. Finding a reason to excuse oneself is not that direct, unfortunately. It is simply because we can’t extend that same courtesy with ourselves.
Nobody could ‘walk away’ from themselves, especially in the literal sense. We’ll continue living on as ourselves, accompanied by the series of mistakes and imperfections that make us into who we are.
In Young Adults
Teenagers are arguably the most vulnerable group to self-hatred. They are often at odds with themselves. They are in the stage whereby they are just getting started to navigating life as they know it. And life is ever-changing.
They are in search for a purpose, that so-called ‘deeper meaning’ to living a good life, as well as moulding their own identity. Every person needs to define what makes them individually unique.
They’ll go through failure after failure, and rejection upon rejection. It’s exhausting. For many of them, it will be all they will know before they finally succeed or reach some sort of realisation, the alternative consequence is falling into a defeatist mentality. The consequence of this is that of low self-esteem.
This can be expressed in several ways, including boasting an inflated ego. Although some people may showcase arrogance and grandeur in their behaviour, it is merely a a façade for their lack of faith in their own capabilities.
Many people sweep their insecurities under the carpet and project it as humour. This is a last ditch effort to have themselves and others convinced that they just don’t have it in them. Overall, they just showcase a lack of regard for themselves.
In the long-run, low self-esteem and self-hatred would heavily impact their social life. People, by nature, are repulsed by what does not fit into their worldview. Self-deprecating tendencies greatly reduces one’s chances to adjusting to that of others’ simply because of all the red flags when in question of the matter of respect.
By not having a sense of self-respect, one gives off the impression that they are dependent on others to keep themselves afloat. No one appreciates being made to feel responsible over someone else completely unrelated to them on a personal level.
The Importance of an Identity
Low self-esteem, an inflated ego, and self-hatred are concepts of human errors. It is a common trope among teenagers because it is a coping mechanism as they work to figure out who they are and where they stand in the grand scheme of things.
The long-term solution is in simply giving a person more time in their struggle with self-esteem and self-worth. Given time and with maturity, the problem of human errors will resolve on its own.
That is not to say the effects will subside so entirely. At least not by circumstances alone. Personal growth requires effort and the drive for betterment. Again, acceptance goes a long way.
To know your identity is to accept your thoughts and beliefs about who you are. You will come to better solidify your stance regarding yourself the more you walk down your intended paths and as you follow along your life choices.
It all comes down to your personality, your likes and your dislikes, belief system, moral codes, motivations, skills and abilities. Your sense of self. Those are the driving factors that will be a means for you to reach an end goal. For teenagers and many young adults, too, they haven’t got half of those figured out yet.
It’s all about having something a person can call “their own”, and holding a firm belief in themselves with everything they’ve got.
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